Casey on the Case AKA ADA Superstar
by FlowerPot21
Summary: Casey's blog...COFC, OC friendship, EO friendship, JC friendship, EC friendship, some spoilers.
1. November 14 Thru December 19 2006

Casey on the Case: AKA ADA Superstar

**Full Name: **Casey Joan-Marie Novak

**Profile:** My name's Casey Joan-Marie, I'm thirty years old (I had to go back and change this from twenty seven because I am now the big 3-0 and I don't think that it's appropriate), I'm a prosecutor, and I have no social life. There, I admit it freely. I spend most of my time working, and the only friends I have are cops, who aren't very social people either. They complete me. I was born in Richmond, Virginia (if my name isn't any indication that I'm Southern; God, why did my parents give me this awful name?) and I have four butthead brothers whom I think I'll give a shout out to: Hey buttheads. Real mature, no? I have six nieces and nephews all belonging to the same brother, my eldest, Andrew. That's me, for maybe like the one person who's actually interested in my boring life. I need a boyfriend pronto.

**Interests: **Sports, law, books, TV, travel, Virginia, beauty, music, hiking, biking, running

**Books I Start Reading and Attempt to Finish**: Valley of the Dolls, Freakanomics, Portrait of a Killer

**Favorite Web Haunts**: SCResource.gov, Wikipedia, WebMd, iVillage

**Archives**:

September 2006

October 2006

November 2006

--------- Stabler Gets On My Nerves

--------- Way to Look Like A Soccer Mom…

--------- Untitled

December 2006

--------- What I'd Do for a Shot of Vodka

--------- Burning Questions

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**Tuesday, November 14**

_Stabler Gets on My Nerves_

It's been a long freakin' day, and to top it off, I had to deal with Stabler and that pissy attitude of his…again. I will not be a freakin' punching bag for him. No siree. I am not OLIVIA. I honestly don't know how she puts up with him because STABLER GETS ON MY F-ING NERVES. Not that I don't like the guy…I do like him and all, it's just that with his short temper, he can be a bit unbearable. Outside the job, he's okay, I guess. I honestly don't see why Olivia wants to come back…to him at least. I can't blame her for leaving, but I wish she had better timing. My last case hinged on her testimony to save both her integrity and my rape case.

I really hate last minute, adrenaline rush cases like that.

It drives me insane.

Elliot is always trying to fall on Olivia's sword. That's just the way he is with her. I am not so lucky. From day one, he never liked me, and I'm pretty sure he still doesn't like me, not in the way that you think.

I love my old nightshirts. It reminds me of my teenage years. I was a tomboy, I guess, and I was always wearing jeans and tee shirts, hats, borrowing my brothers' jeans to conceal my hips and caboose…but in private, at night, I wore my nightshirts with pretty princesses and hearts and other girly stuff that otherwise wouldn't be seen by others. Now, I am not as shy about my looks, but I do always make a conscious effort to wear black and blue. But my hips are big and my booty is well, big. Not in the sense that I'm fat, but just big.

The unit has been pretty quiet lately. Nothing too exciting going on except Harris the Clerk Guy's b-day…that was some damn good cake. I ought to know because I had some in the morning when I stopped by to have a little "friendly" chat with Dani.

Yeah, I don't like her. She is a big liability and I told her that. She looked at me with those weird eyes and I turned and left her there standing like an idiot. Elliot has forged a soft spot for her, that much is for sure. I think she kind of balances him out in the impulsive anger department. She does what he's thinking before he acts on it.

I can't believe she took Eve home, though. What was she thinking? The kid could've burned the whole damn building down! That's the kind of stuff I'm talking about! Am I the only voice of reason here? Argh!

I also had a slice with lunch when I stopped by yet again to pick up some files and small talk with Munch, then I came back later in the evening to see if there was some left, and there was so I ate that piece too.

But, I have learned patience through the art of growing up with four brothers and yoga. Finding the inner peace…and my future husband and father of my children…finding the inner peace…

Peace out w/ love my homies! (Fin just cracks me up)…CJ

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**Wednesday, November 22**

_Way To Look Like A Soccer Mom…_

Okay, is it just me, or are Olivia's bangs and new hairdo totally ridiculous? When I saw her, I almost wanted to ask, 'where's the minivan and 3.2 ½ children'. Not one of her best looks, but the woman's been eating tofu and soy for weeks on end, so I'll give her a break. But still, this is her worst hair blunder yet. It's cute when it's curled, but she looks like she came out of an episode of _Desperate Housewives_ or something…

Shoot! I'm missing Medium! Love that show. Patricia Arquette? Pure genius. I'm kind of in to science fiction and comedies because anything having to do with perps, guns, and slimy lawyers disinterests me. Surprising, no? where did I get that from? Asking a question then adding 'no' at the end?Weird. Anyhow, I love that she is this normal looking mom that sees the future and talks to dead people. so wish I could do that. It'd make my job a helluva lot easier.

Like that tom cruise movie from a while back…I think I went to go see that one with a boyfriend at the time…

I turned on Medium. so the happiness

But yeah, Olivia looks like a mom. Not saying that it's a bad thing…she just looks all soft and innocent now. But I went off on her and Stabler today…they really screwed up but then miraculously redeemed themselves with my help. I love them to death, but they're killing me!

Olivia, seriously needs to lose the ponytail. She looks like a tired housewife who doesn't care how she looks anymore.

CJ:(

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**Saturday, November 25**

_Untitled_

Two things: 1) I was happy to know that people really are interested in my life 2) I pissed off the housewives in this community.

NoPlaceLikeHomeMom39 wrote:

'Of course you would say that because you're not a wife or a mother. How stereotypical and immature of you, and you're a lawyer. Check your facts, and you'll see that there's so much more to worry about than getting our hair right'

JimmyChooluvr:

'You're single and thirty. 'Nuff said'

QRTF8651:

'I suppose the next thing you'll be saying is that we're breeders and being legally bound sex slavery under the guise of marriage. Give me a break…single women with no responsibilities are always on the soapbox about how they don't want to be "tied down" by commitment'

And my personal favorite…

NelsonFamilyValues:

'Being a housewife is a wonderful thing…it's more than just looks…I thought that being single and liberated was best for me, but when I got married and had my first child, I realized how selfish I had been not to give life to another human being. Consider yourself robbed of this kind of joy, you are a selfish, self-serving woman'

Ouch…whoa, I didn't mean that. I didn't want to offend anybody. I'm sure being a stay at home mom is great…I didn't say anything about that. I was just saying that my friend Olivia has done better as far as looks go and that I didn't like her hairdo. And I know women who are stay at home moms and they've admitted to me that they didn't feel as good as they want to look.

Sometimes, we women lose touch with ourselves.

So, if I offended anyone, that wasn't my intent…sheesh!

I totally like marriage, I really do. Even though my dad had a divorce or two, I still believe in love and building a healthy marriage. I don't want to stay single forever!

I'm checking in a little early because I'm having a crappy day, and I need to vent. First of all, I didn't get to see any of my family this Thanksgiving, and I am so disappointed. I was hoping that Andrew and the kids would be able to make it, but he didn't. Sean, my middle brother, did call me though, and he said that he would be in town on business for Christmas. Well, great, but he'll be on business.

Secondly, I can't have a moment to myself without people walking into my office without so much as a 'hey, how are ya.' it's annoying and frustrating and this has been going on since 9 this morning. One good thing, though, a clerk offered to toast and cream cheese my bagel and (somehow, that just didn't sound right) I accepted, thanking God in Heaven for that little extension of mercy on my day.

It was good too:)

Yummy bagels…carb goodness.

Thirdly, Liv doesn't drink soda anymore! What is up with THAT? No more Dr. Pepper girl talks! That soy must have gone to her head. Well, I certainly won't be made to feel guilty when I pick up a soda. I mean, I'm all for the environment, but sometimes, I need my sugar fix.

Am going bike riding through Central Park. Set a date for date with Marcus!

CJ;)

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**Monday, December 11**

_What I'd Do for a Shot of Vodka_

I had dinner with Elliot tonight. Everything was good, and surprisingly enough, he had good taste in wine. It was nothing romantic, just two friends having a nice dinner. He apologized to me for his behavior toward me. Likewise, I apologized for going off on him and Olivia.

However, Elliot never pays any of the women in his life compliments anymore. It's little things like that that would have made a difference in his marriage, I think. The feeling of not being appreciated hurts sometimes, especially when it's people you love.

We talked, and surprisingly enough, Olivia didn't enter into the conversation at all. I've noticed something between them from the moment I met the two of them. I like to think that Olivia is more complicated than Elliot really because she likes to keep things inside and rationalize them instead of just letting it out.

Elliot wears his heart on his sleeve. He doesn't hold his emotions in as much as he used to.

He talked about the kids, Kathy, and how much he missed them. I have to admit that Lizzie is my favorite because she reminds me of me when I was her age…wow, it seems so long ago. Thirteen was a great age; I got my first crush at thirteen.

Jeremy Einsberg.

He lived up the street from me, and my brothers hated him because he was such a deviant, and that's why I liked him. I wasn't like other girls…I was in to sports, punk rock, and burping contests, and he liked me for me. Other boys didn't like me because I acted too much like one, but not Jeremy.

We went to the movies, went to a couple of minor league baseball games, we had dinner over each of our parents' houses, only the Evil Bitch AKA my second stepmother ruined it. She made me dress up for dinner, and Jeremy got creamed by my brothers. It was a disaster, but he kissed me anyway and ran home when Bobby, the youngest of my four brothers chased Jeremy down the street.

Jeremy kissed me kinda like Elliot kissed me.

On the cheek, quick and friendly like. Not that I'm interested in Elliot. Ew. In relation to him and Olivia, I'm like the little sister. Going out with him would just be too weird.

I love _How I Met Your Mother_! It is so cute, and a perfect ending to a good day. I can't wait for my date with Marcus. He is so damn sexy! The last time we talked, we had drinks, and he smelled so good. So, now we have a date, and I have to find something warm and sexy at the same time. Maybe I should buy a new bra and a pair of panties. Yeah…

Victoria's Secret here I come!

But man, I'd kill for a small shot of vodka. Just to loosen up. Dinner with El was nice, but work was just…weird. A suspect went off on me at arraignment, and then I didn't get any pickles on my pastrami and I usually do.

I realized in the middle of practicing my opening statement that I hadn't done any Christmas shopping, and I had no wine at home. Just very strange.

But, I got new pictures of my nieces and nephews via e-mail, and is quickly becoming my new favorite website! Thanks to PI23 for referring me! I absolutely love your blog! Go figure, lawyer people hanging with lawyer people! Tee hee!

I know she'd give me a shot of vodka.

Sometimes, wine just isn't enough to wind down from a stressful day, even though I have none.

30Rockstar1945: Thank you for your honesty, and yes, you do have options for that situation. There's a guy I know that works in legal aid and his name is Luca Place. He is a whiz and he'll definitely take your case and provide you with the best options available.

You like me, you really like me! Sally Field.

I'd take two shots for you, 30Rockstar1945.

CJ

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**Tuesday, December 19**

_Burning Questions_

My date with Marcus was…incredible! The food was incredible too but pales in comparison to the incredibleness of MarcusJ

Is it just me, or does any other single woman dating have like a list of burning questions that you never really get around to asking because it would just be way too awkward?

I did, but then I forgot them because Mark is brilliant, funny, and he has freakin' awesome eyes. They are soft and gentle. The best part is that he is from Virginia too! Near Alexandria, and he wishes to go back soon…hmm.

My burning questions:

1) Boxers of briefs?

2) Put it on the table right now for real: gay or straight?

3) How big _are _your hands?;)

4) Say, 'Dufuskie'

5) Which would you rather attend: a Yankees game or a strip club?

6) Do you prefer satin sheets, or cotton?

Of course, I never feel bold enough to ask those kinds of questions, especially on a first 'date'. I sound like a teenager.

I remember my first date. I was twenty, and all grown up, and my first year of law school, I met this guy. His name was Hick Jordan. I don't know what kind of name Hick was, but I like it because he liked me. He asked me out, and I accepted. He took me to a burger joint, but it was enough for me. Of course, the only thing we really talked about was school and our fellow coeds, but it was a fun date nonetheless.

We went out for about two months, until I met Charlie.

Any of you ladies have Burning Questions? That would be so fun!

I like the way he put his hand on my lower back when we walked into the restaurant. I don't think I've ever dated a guy with a touch that subtle and gentle before.

Best part of the date: playing one on one.

That's why he told me to bring a pair of pants. I never knew I could play basketball in heels. I'm just that good.

I know it sounds too good to be true, but it's so true. We played one on one!

We're best friends, but it's not awkward to date him. My brothers would hate him just for even coming within a hair's breadth of me, so that's why they live in Virginia and I live in New York. They'd have his ass if they saw his hand slip down to mine for but a moment and then to the small of my back.

Buttheads.

Pains in the ass is what they are sometimes.

We didn't kiss, but man, did I want to. I think he wants to take it slower than I do.

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!

With love, CJ

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	2. December 26 Thru 27 2006

Casey on the Case AKA ADA Superstar

**Archives**:

---September 2006

---October 2006

---November 2006

---December 2006

--------- What I'd Do for a Shot of Vodka

--------- Burning Questions

--------- Because You _Seem_ to be Interested in My Life…

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**Tuesday, December 26**

_Because you _Seem _to be Interested in My Life…_

I bought some more wine! Yay! I spent Christmas curled up in front of the fireplace looking through my old stuff that my dad sent me when he renovated the house for his latest Evil Bit-I mean, third wife, and apparently, _she_ needed the space for her slacker son…who blows a four year, all expense paid football scholarship at OU? The EB's son.

Marcus called me! We talked for about four hours yesterday and it was great. Just when it seemed like we were running out of things to talk about, we ended up talking about more stuff…it was just great. I really like him.

For Christmas I treated myself: I bought an expensive pair of royal purple leather boots that go up the calf, a Kate Spade shoulder bag (to die for), and this awesome ring that has my birthstone, since I've never gotten one before. I drank three glasses of wine, ate some dark chocolate, and had roast duck delivered from my favorite Chinese restaurant.

But talking to Mark until 2 AM was the highlight.

Did I mention that I really like him?

It was a good Christmas. I called all my brothers except for one, Sean, because we never know where he is. He likes to travel on a whim, and so, every once in a while, he'll send us a letter or some pictures or give us a phone call every once in a while, but otherwise, we know he's alright in…Tibet? Sudetenland? The Congo? Who knows.

I talked to Marcus. Highlight!

Anyway, I found my old diaries! The EB #2 knew that was the only thing that she could get me that wouldn't make me scowl.

So, here are my teenage years (shudders).

CJ

_July 20, 1988 (The EB's Birthday)_

_Like I said, today's the EB's b-day. Happy freakin' b-day Winona (EB)._

_That's why I'm in my room with Joan Jett turned way up high, and my stupid butthead brothers trying to annoy me. _

_It's soooooooo hot today, daddy won't let me outside…not even to go to the beach with Bobbi and Leanne. I like Bobbi' s family better, even though her older sister is a debutante snob. She's always making fun of me…she thinks that I'm a lesbian, but I'm so not. Kaye Jackson is, and I don't even like her. She sucks at volleyball. She can't even play at the beach! How uncool is that?_

_The EB is calling me, but I'm going to ignore her and take my sweet time. I might sneak out for a run tonight, risk getting bitten by squitos._

_I wish that I could go away with my brothers and daddy this weekend. God, that would be like so awesome. Maybe if I whine, he'll let me come. Maybe I'll get to drink some beer! Andrew let me taste it once when daddy took us to Dufuskie Island to celebrate my twelfth b-day. EB got sun burned…freakin' hilarious! She looked like a cooked lobster. She looked good enough to eat!_

_Daddy's wondering when Winnie and I will ever get along and I told him that when our horses can wash their butts and learn to fly, then we'll talk. Of course, I got slapped for that, but it was worth it…anything to piss off EB._

_Until then, she will forever and always be the EB from the swamplands of the Everglades (that's where he found her)._

_She suggested that I take speech classes. _

_Speech for what? I talk the way I talk and that's it. I was born in Richmond, lived in Ireland 'til I was six…I think I talk just fine. I can talk fancy if I wanted to, but this is how I am. I love talking this way. What does EB want from me? I'm about to pack myself up and ship myself to Ireland where my totally cool Uncle and Aunt live. Dublin is so awesome, and they always have gifts for me._

_Winona wants this huge dinner tonight to celebrate her b-day. Yeah, the day that evil was born._

_I don't think God will appreciate us celebrating the birth of evil._

_She's inviting all these people that we don't even know. And she's gonna wear that butt ugly dress with the Shoulder Pads of Death! _

_Sean's such a nerd!_

_I really wish that I can go to the beach and spend the night with Bobbi and Leanne. That would be so much better than here. Home sucks right now…I wish mom was here. I miss her._

_Maybe daddy will let me go…I still have time to escape Winona's boring party! Or I could sneak out my window and go down the street to Jeremy's house. His parents are cool…NORMAL, even though he's Jewish. I thought he would be all nerdish and dorky, but he's so fun! And he likes that I can throw a football. Although, the last time we snuck out, we ended up in the unisex bathroom of the convenience store and he wanted to feel my boobs…I wanted to let him, but I didn't, and I told him to go buy some Ho-Hos instead._

_Tee Hee! Ho-Hos! We both cracked up all the way home._

_Then he said if he can feel my Ho-Hos, he'll let me touch his Ding-Dong! (Pause to laugh madly)._

_Isn't that SO gross? But it was funny at the same time. Jeremy laughed even more because of the way I talk. Actually, the way I said Ho-Hos…he says that it's hot…_

_I don't want to be "hot"_

_I want to be me. Hot means that I'm shallow, and I'm totally not. I always help him with his geography._

_Winona practically had a coronary when I came home late. My dad more or less didn't care because he knows I'll just do it again just to ruffle her ugly, frizzy feathers. _

_Andrew is my favorite brother right now because he hates EB just as much as I do, and yesterday, he let me have some beer with him at the stables. Of course, he only poured me half and drank the other half out of the can, it was still cool nonetheless. I don't want him to move away from us and go to college…I'll miss him too much. He's the one that taught me how to play touch football with all his moves. _

_He wants to go to Ireland, and I want to go with him. All of us have hints of an Irish accent. He said that when we moved here after mom died, he was always teased about his accent and about the fact that we're Catholic by birth. Sometimes, I get teased too, but I just punch those people…especially Tori Dean in the fourth grade…she called me Potato Chomper, and I knocked the shit out of her. No one talks about my family like that._

_Andy says that I'm too pretty to talk and act the way I do…but it's me. There's nothing wrong with me…is there?_

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**Wednesday, December 27**

_More Angst_

_July 31, 1988_

_Today marks the twentieth straight day of no rain…I went out to the garden to get some peace. My brothers all went out with daddy, and left me here at home. Then Winona took off if that totally outdated mustang of hers._

_I want to go to the stables, but daddy wouldn't let me today because Godmother Gigi said one of the horses is sick and had to call the vet…I hate this day._

_Ain't nothing worse than a Saturday with nothing to do._

_Today just really blows. My morning started with EB telling me not to slouch and to close my legs. Then she gave me chores. That's what brothers are for, I'm not a domestic._

_I told her that, and my dad smacked my arm. It hurt really bad this time._

_Real reason why today blows: I argued with my dad, and he took EB's side over mine. Honestly, I'm grounded, with extra chores._

_When did me and daddy stop being best buds?_

_Now everything has to be EB's way, and I don't like it. Winona ruins everything! _

_Too sad today, me arm is still hurting, and so is my heart. Not to mention my stomach too. _

--CJ

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	3. December 28 Thru 29 2006

Casey on the Case AKA ADA Superstar

**Archives**:

--September 2006

--October 2006

--November 2006

--December 2006

--------- What I'd Do for a Shot of Vodka

--------- Burning Questions

--------- Because You _Seem_ to be Interested in My Life…

--------- More Angst

--------- September 12, 1988

--------- October 31, 1988

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**Thursday, December 28**

_September 12, 1988_

_September 12, 1988_

_School was okay today. It was the first day back, so nothing exciting. NO HOMEWORK!!!!_

_But I'm sad anyway._

_Andrew left at the end of August, and it really sucks because now I have no ally against the EB. But, she was pretty nice. She bought me new school clothes that I actually like, and I didn't even have to talk to her. I just smiled and nodded. _

_Daddy said that I should dress more like a young lady, but, who needs that? _

_He used to like me like this. When did he stop liking me?_

_Now that Andrew's gone, things feel weird. I know that daddy misses him so much already. _

_Sean, Bobby, and Michael are kinda sad too. I hope Andrew's coming back. I mean, he can't just leave us here hanging._

_I'm officially a freshman, even though I'm still 13. I turn 14 in November, so I don't think its that big a deal. Jeremy was at school today, but we didn't get a chance to really talk. But high school is nothing like they do it on TV. No one's been stuffed in lockers or any of that other crap they tell you. My dad said that it would be harder than middle school. I don't believe him though._

_Maybe daddy will let me go have dinner at Jeremy's house with his parents._

_Leanne said that I'm totally obsessed with Jeremy, but I'm so not obsessed! I like him, and he likes me…we're cool in that sense…we get each other. My dad has caught on that I like him, and so has Winona. It's not like that._

_Jeremy and I can run together, play sports, hang out and not do all that romantic relationship crap. He doesn't have to buy me anything, I'm capable of taking care of meself…his parents like me, but I think they think I'm too much like a boy…I hope they don't think I'm a lesbian too! Or that Jeremy's gay! _

_I miss Andrew. I miss us sneaking beer, going for late night rides at the stables, and just driving around the city. _

_Part of me wants him to do whatever, but then another part of me wants him to stay home forever and never leave me. He understands me better than anyone else in this screwed up family…the EB definitely doesn't get that no matter what she does, I'll never like her because she's not mom. She'll never be mom._

_I can't talk about mom. _

_EB and daddy have been fighting a lot lately. I hope they get a divorce. The other day, she blamed me for their problems and I told her to piss off in the rose garden. She slapped me across the mouth, which I deserved, I guess, but man, it was so totally worth it. The look on her face was freakin' funny. _

_I think my lip is still a little swollen. I can't tell you how many times I've risked bodily harm just to piss off EB. Well, if she does divorce daddy (which I hope is really freakin' soon because I hate her) she won't get a dime of daddy's money. Even though she didn't want to, she sighned some kind othing where my dad gets to keep all the money, but she only gets like maybe a third…Pre-nup! _

_A prenuptial agreement!_

_I don't know why daddy keeps marrying EB bimbos…_

_He says that we need help with things…but we can manage just fine by ourselves._

_I don't want him to talk to me about mom. I know she's gone and there ain't nothing I can do about it…_

_She was so pretty. _

_Love you mom._

CJ

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**Friday, December 29**

_October 31, 1988_

_October 31, 1988_

_Holloween? was great this year! I dressed up as a nun this year! My brothers thought it was hilarious, only Bobby said that I'd probably grow up to be one. I punched him in the arm and EB yelled at both of us for "playing rough"_

_I think she's finally moving out._

_Thank you God! She can go back to the muck where she came from in Florida._

_Daddy's getting sick of her too. All she does is complain about how me and my brothers are wild children and do whatever we want._

_Damn straight, Evil Bitch. You don't like, then return to the seventh circle of hell where you came from (I read Dante's Inferno at the library. EB would probably call it a vacation guide)._

_Anyway, went to the party at school. It was fun, although I think somebody spiked the juice…I tasted a bit of gin in it…probably some stupid senior. Jeremy threw up, but he said it wasn't cause of the juice. _

_But our principal, Mr. Anderson, was looking a little trashed…it was funny as hell…(well, hell isn't funny, because I feel like I live in it everyday of my life with Winona around) but still hilarious. He was all swaying and stuff and he even touched Ms. Yancey's big pumpkin butt! _

_That was actually the best part. I bet they're like making out right now cause he's always flirting with her…ew._

_My dad took pictures before I left the house. He was more excited than I was about my first high school party…_

_Secret: I've been to my fair share of high school parties with my oldest brothers, so…but daddy doesn't know that._

_Winona was smiling at me for once. She made my costume, which I admit, was nice of her. She made an awesome nun costume. She did my make up._

"_look holy, Casey Joan-Marie"_

_Jeremy said I looked totally cool with the makeup. _

_Jeremy went home and his mom was all mad at me. I didn't know she didn't want him to go out tonight. I apologized, but she just slammed the door in me face. Maybe he had the stomach flu or something._

_I don't know._

_Winona and daddy waited up for me, which turned out to be a bad thing cause they smelled the gin on my breath…I only had two cups!_

_Luckily, daddy believed me. I told Winona thanks for the costume and she grinned. Okay, so maybe she isn't such an EB after all…she can be pretty cool when she wants to be._

_I saw them kiss from the top of the stairs…maybe it is my fault that they have problems…daddy just wants a relationship just like teenagers do I guess…_

CJ

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	4. December 30 and 31 Thru January 1 2007

Casey on the Case AKA ADA Superstar

**Archives**:

--September 2006

--October 2006

--November 2006

--December 2006

--------- What I'd Do for a Shot of Vodka

--------- Burning Questions

--------- Because You _Seem_ to be Interested in My Life…

--------- More Angst

--------- September 12, 1988

--------- October 31, 1988

--------- Guest Blogger: Olivia Benson-A Rebuttal From the Soccer Mom

--------- Guest Blogger: John Munch-New Year's Eve On Casey Joan-Marie

-- January 2007

--------- Happy New Year!

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**Saturday, December 30**

_Guest Blogger: Olivia Benson-A Rebuttal From the Soccer Mom_

I must admit, I laughed when I found out that Casey had a blog, and of course, I laughed even harder when she named herself ADA Superstar. But I NEVER thought that Casey would be one to spill the beans on everyone _else's_ private life, nor provide commentary on the people she works with.

It's true, I have had a long absence and trust me, my hair was the last thing on my mind. And for the record Missy, I wasn't eating tofu and soy for weeks. I snuck a hamburger or two in, so ha!

But that's beyond the point:

1) I hate minivans

2) I paid fifty bucks for this hair cut

3) There's no such thing as .2 ½ of a person

4) I'd raise my kids in the city

5) They sure as hell wouldn't be playing soccer

There.

That's all I have to say about that, ADA Superstar. I'll see you and your Ho-Hos on Monday.

(Yeah, I read that too).

Well, on a much lighter and less chiding note, I LOVED the Burning Questions post. We should discuss that over lunch sometime!

You're forgiven of the Soccer mom thing.

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**Sunday, December 31**

_Guest Blogger: John Munch-New Year's Eve on Casey Joan-Marie_

Once again, I find obscurity, even in cyberspace. When Olivia and I stumbled upon Casey's blog, quite innocently I might add, I couldn't help but feel a stab of jealousy when she mentioned every one else, even Harris the Clerk Guy got more mention than I did. Small talk?

With me, there is no such thing as small talk, and for shame, Casey Joan-Marie.

I don't know. Maybe it is…_kind of_ my fault that I'm not more social, but hey, what can I do?

Take over Casey's blog.

Just to appease me today, she let me write a post on her blog. I like appeasement, don't you?

Well, here it is, New Year's Eve, another year going by and another year starting…on a Monday. All of New York is freaked out, but I'm not. Today, I think I'll be an optimist and ignore the blatant conspiracy of this, even though I know that some of larger corporations in Manhattan will try to capitalize on New Yorkers' special way of finding some astronomical mind trip in a day as simple and boring as a Monday.

I mean, look at Y2K.

That, I still don't understand, and in the year 2000, at exactly midnight, the computers _started_ working in the squad room and I was able to get three weeks worth of research and paperwork done. It was great, and then we all went out for drinks. Nothing chaotic happened, and the huge TV at Times Square was still working.

So, now we need a new conspiracy, and New Year's on Monday is it.

Well, here's to another mundane workday ahead.

Or maybe something strange will happen…maybe Casey will let me touch her Ho-Hos too. That would make my year.

Casey decided to host a little get together for the unit, and she's doing a great job, and she allowed me into her second office in her apartment to post on her blog, since she figured out that Liv posted on the sly when we found it.

The soccer mom thing was a cheap shot. I mean, I liked Liv's hair personally, but she does look soft, even though she's not. But it works for her, so give her a break, will ya Casey Joan-Marie?

By the way, your early years were very interesting. I had no idea your family was so affluent and you still paid your own way through Harvard. Tough crowd, your dad and the EB.

But I never would have pegged you as a blossoming debutante.

I think I like the tomboy in you personally.

And those burning questions? Where do you women come up with these things? And this Marcus guy you're seeing? He's alright I suppose, but I still don't like him.

Okay, now I've got to go watch the ball drop in Times Square.

Crap I missed it. Oh well.

Happy New Year Casey Joan-Marie. It's been fun.

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**Monday, January 1**

_Happy New Year!_

Happy New Year!

Well, it's officially 2007, and I am so excited! Even though I had to work today. Mark met the guys and I think they liked him for the most part. He kissed me at exactly midnight and I think I blushed like two shades darker than normal.

So, John and Olivia stumbled upon my blog, and Olivia snuck in a post (yes, we will do lunch very soon) and John wormed his way into posting for me last night just to make him happy because he felt left out.

Mark and I slept on the couch after everyone left. I'm still tired, but in a good way. I haven't had a party in years and everyone liked my cooking!

Well, it's late, and I'm going to bed. We didn't catch today, so work was fairly uneventful, and I only had one deposition today, so…it was okay, but I need to sleep.

Happy 2007!

CJ

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	5. January 3 2007

Casey On The Case AKA ADA Superstar

**Archives**:

--September 2006

--October 2006

--November 2006

--December 2006

-- January 2007

--------- Happy New Year!

--------- Old Bones

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**Wednesday, January 3**

_Old Bones_

Why do they always spring things like a gubernatorial pardon on me? They make like the adrenaline rush, but I don't. See, with Elliot and Olivia, they NEVER give me a heads up in a decent amount of time, and it totally aggravates me because things like a pardon and dispensations, stays…all that stuff take time, which they never seem to have, and they are lucky that I have so many connections in this city or else they'd be stuck like Chuck.

Munch and Fin are so much more time oriented, and that's why I really like working with them…even though Munch can be so sarcastic. I swear, he must've been a stand up comic in another life. I'm sure that his sense of humor comes from his bleak childhood (Bleak is putting it lightly, John really had a rough time). Fin is funny too, but less acerbic.

Anyway, even though the timing was crazy, it still makes me feel good that a man put in jail for a crime he didn't commit has been set free. Twenty years of his life had been stolen, and unfortunately, the pardon came twenty years too late, but he was in his mid fifties. It's never too late to start over…I hope.

After the case, me, Elliot, and Liv went out for drinks. Elliot put a smile on the FBI's face for once. I hate that he and his wife divorced. I met Kathy once…she's nice and gentle. Polar opposite of Elliot. They seemed to balance each other out, but I guess it didn't work as well as I thought it did. His kids are taking it hard…Kathleen, the middle one, looks up to me, and I don't know why.

She calls a few times to get some advice from me. Out of all the Stabler children, she is the least like her father. In fact, she clings more to Kathy than she does Elliot, and he tries so hard to connect with her like he does Maureen.

I know what that's like. My dad tried to connect with my middle brother Bobby, and they just never…clicked I guess. I mean, they still loved each other and have a good relationship, but it was never like with the rest of us.

Fathers and daughters…Complicated relationships.

Liv and Elliot are kind of back into the groove of things I guess, but that smooch that Elliot had with Beck…word traveled fast, and I think Olivia got wind of it and she's doing that passive aggressive thing she does. Like she did with me when we first met. Honestly, she scares me when she's like that because usually, she'll let you know what's on her mind, but when she's passive aggressive, she just get this look…I can't even describe it.

Because I tend to still think like a teenager at times, I think of it as her being the Queen Bee of the group, and she is in complete control, even though others are unaware. The most popular girl in school with a grudge and a secret. Lethal combinations.

Of course, she's like forty and totally mature, but the way she looks…it freaks me out. Elliot gets defensive all the time, and she makes him squirm. I really wish that they just…do something. Figure out what the hell is going on between them, because quite frankly, drinks with them is a chilly affair.

I think I'll start going out with Munch and Fin over those two.

Anyway, I sat through this fantastical story about bank robberies, illegitimate kids, and roses, and then the guy died. How sad is that?

Olivia sat with him to the very end, and she was kind of mad that the guy held on to all that for so long. She's got issues with fathers, understandably.

It was eventful, and just like that, it was over. We move on.

CJ

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	6. January 5 thru 6 2007

Casey on the Case AKA ADA Superstar

**Archives**:

--September 2006

--October 2006

--November 2006

--December 2006

-- January 2007

--------- Happy New Year!

--------- Old Bones

--------- I Have No Life

--------- Phil

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**Friday, December 5**

_I Have No Life_

I. Have. No. Life.

One thing I don't like about true New York apartments is the micromini tiles they use on the floor. It gets on my nerves because of the grout.

So it's Friday night, and I'm cleaning the grout out of my tile in my bathroom. I mean, how pathetic is that? But then again, I do like for my bathroom to be clean. Still, I had this cute outfit to go out in, and then I just _had_ to shower…but I didn't want to go out stinky…anyway, I spent my evening cleaning my bathroom and now it smells lemony fresh, but just the fact that I sacrificed and evening of partying to clean my bathroom…

Olivia is dating Mike Logan.

That's surprising, but kind of cute at the same time.

As long as he's a nice guy. He's a cop too, so that should work out just fine. But then again, maybe not.

But Munch told me that Logan's a nice guy.

I saw him pick her up yesterday. I have to admit, he is polite. He got out the car and opened it for her and she gave him a scorcher kiss with a little tongue…she made him blush.

I called Marcus and we talked for about an hour before he had to get back to work. He was working late on a case, so I let him go. He said he missed me, and it's only been four days since we last saw each other.

I think another official date is in order…

I guess I kind of have a life, but I'm a homebody at heart.

At least my bathroom's clean.

CJ

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**Saturday, January 6**

_Phil_

No, Phil isn't a guy I met or anything.

No, you want to know who Phil is?

Phil is the grayish brown mouse that fell into my hair when he finally bored a hole through the ceiling.

I screamed bloody murder when I saw the little rodent, and he scurried across the floor, completely disoriented. I grabbed the broom from the side of my fridge and then stepped on a chair (like a 50s housewife from the cartoons) and waited for the sneaky rodent.

He ran across the living room and under the table and I couldn't get good aim!

Then he scurried into the kitchen and I tried to trap him with the broom but he was too quick and he got disoriented again and just stopped.

I looked at him for a moment, and then I felt bad. His little nose was all sniffing around, and he was shaking, so…I leaned down carefully and I scooped him up into my hands.

So now I have a pet.

I named him Phil; alright I'm not really sure if it's a guy mouse or a girl mouse. Philipa, perhaps?

Anyway, I figured, there's nothing wrong with a little symbiosis. As long as he doesn't bring any other rodents or roaches for that matter or else my land lord would have a fit.

I found a another hole under my cabinet, so I leave him a few crumbs and some small pieces of lunch meat now, and yes, I bought a huge block of cheddar cheese, and he likes cheese! Just like Jerry mouse!

From Tom and Jerry? Only, there's no Tom.

Man, I wish Phil could get a job and help me pay my rent.

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	7. January 12 Thru 17 2007

Casey on the Case AKA ADA Superstar

**Archives**:

--September 2006

--October 2006

--November 2006

--December 2006

-- January 2007

--------- Happy New Year!

--------- Old Bones

--------- I Have No Life

--------- Phil

--------- Busy

--------- Break-Up Bitches

--------- More Phil

--------- Down In the Dumps

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**Friday, January 12**

_Busy_

You will not believe the week I had for two reasons:

1) I can't tell you, confidential.

2) You just wouldn't believe it if I told you.

It's just been a really hard week, and one thing I learned from this case: divorce can really be a bitch.

Both Benson and Stabler have this tit-for-tat thing going on and it is driving me crazy! Either they're on or they're off…on. Off. On. Off. It's sickening, actually. They are so perfect for each other, (partnership wise) yet they act more like a married couple than actual partners.

Although, I must admit that me and Liv were absolutely wrong to take sides. Elliot had a very valid point, and Liv and I jumped on him just because secretly, we like to see him pissed. He looks really cute when he's pissed. Cragen was painstakingly neutral, making Elliot the victim. Either way, he was outnumbered by our pissiness.

I think I gained like three pounds from both stress and eating takeout. My tummy is getting a little flabby and it's back to the gym with me. I'm so glad that it's Friday because it's just been such a horrible week, and I feel like throwing up.

I think I will throw up.

CJ

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**Saturday, January 13**

_Break-Up Bitches_

Marcus and I "broke up"? last Sunday.

I mean, what was there to break up? I mean, it wasn't a deep relationship or anything…dammit, I really liked that guy and then he just up and tells me that he doesn't want to see me like we have been anymore.

I just told him whatever and…I guess that's it. Oh well, there's plenty more fish in the sea…and it's tasty fish…mm, lobster. I'm hungry.

Anyway, Olivia is trying to pick a movie to match our blue moods.

We're both on our periods, craving anything salty and chocolatey, and we're both recovering from break-ups. That's right, we have spitefully (and affectionately) dubbed ourselves Break-Up Bitches because we're both pissed, broken up, and yet so empowered. There isn't anything about us not to love, so it's their loss, not ours.

This is our time to rag on how men don't appreciate us.

There are definitely more fish in the sea.

Okay…Liv chose When Harry Met Sally. Greatest movie ever because there's a free lesson on how to fake an orgasm. Meg Ryan fakes it pretty damn good too. I aspire to that greatness.

I think this is like my third pint of B&J's ice cream, and I swear, by Monday, I won't be able to fit into my skirts and I'll have to go to the back of the closet and get my fat pants. I'm already bloated from my period, plus three pounds, plus whatever I put on from eating this fatty ice cream.

Anyway.

Me and Marcus are no more.

Liv and Logan are no more.

And life couldn't be any better.

CJ

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**Monday, January 15**

_More Phil_

Unlike most human men, Phil, my rodent roommate, is loyal, punctual, neat, and above all, silent.

However punctual he may be, he always manages to make a grand entrance. He dropped in on me (literally) last night then scurried down my breast.

For shame, Phil!

But he's pretty cute. Or she. I'm still not sure, but I don't really care. Phil works for him.

I left a couple of crumbs for him at his little hole, and he cleaned it up really nicely.

I thought about actually making him my pet, but I can't do that to the poor fella. He's better off roaming free in the building, although I hope that he's not bothering anybody else. I really don't want him to get caught or…die by arsenic or mousetrap.

That would really suck, considering I like him so much.

My dad called me yesterday. We talked for a good two hours. I told him that I found my old diaries and he laughed. He told me I really was a little spitfire.

It was good to talk to my dad because I don't call him as often as I know I should, so it was good hearing his voice. He makes me think about my mom, and I get emotional because I wish that she was still with us. I think that's the reason why dad never really had another stable relationship after her. My mom was…she was a very beautiful woman, and she had this spirit about her that I think she passed on to me, especially the strength to deal with the numerous EB's that came in and out of our lives.

Oh Phil, if only you were human and another brother. You would definitely love the Novak family.

CJ

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**Wednesday, January 17**

_Down In the Dumps_

I really hate feeling all depressed and such. It's really um…depressing.

I should get out more. I used to, but now I don't very often because I'm so busy. I should make time because I found that I've gained seven pounds and I'm feeling very chubby. I need to dust off my bike, hit the gym, and lose this flab.

But not today. I feel really yucky, and I can't fit into my skirts and slacks. I had to dig out my fat pants from college.

I used to be on the heavy side. I wear a size four because of my hips, but when I was in law school, I was a size twelve. Charlie thought I was adorable, but I didn't feel good about myself, so I lost weight. I have a baby face, so when I was little chunkier, I still looked like a kid. I wanted to look like a woman.

Anyway, I still feel like crap. I'm freakin' washing this dye out of my hair. I want to be red again, even though I'm pale as I don't know what.

Today just sucks.

CJ

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	8. February 7 Thru 9 2007

Casey on the Case AKA ADA Superstar

**Archives**:

--September 2006

--October 2006

--November 2006

--December 2006

-- January 2007

-- February 2007

--------- Such a Blonde

--------- Why Do I Even Try?

--------- May 20, 1992

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**Wednesday, February 7**

_Such a Blonde_

Seriously, I really hate to gloat, but after three shots of Tequila and four glasses of wine, I realize that I TOTALLY kick ass…ah yes, breaking the law, infiltrating government agencies, making a dirty CEO shit his pants, and win millions in compensation…all in a day's work.

Love me.

ANywa…damn, I'm drunk. Me and Trevor are both drunk, only he's passed out on my couch.

Me and Trevor are good drinking buddies because we both have a really fucked up family and we're chatty. He spilled to me about how he went through this "experimental" stage when he was at Yale…I seriously gthink that he embelll-emb…he basically like filled in on all the parts where he probably got rejected for threesomes…like filling in a jelly doughnut with missing parts of the jelly.

But when we're sober, we hate each other again in a mature, platonic way…how is this possible? And I didn't think that a guy as tall as him could get drunk easily…but the guy's a total pansy. I wonderr what he lookes like when he smoked his roommate's _supposed_ bong. I say "supposed" because I think he makes up stuff.

I think his childhood was interesting to the point where he doesn't have to freakin lie about college. Interesting childhoods and multiple EB's makes having a boring college experience okay…I had a great boring time at Harvard.

Did you know that Trevor's mom breastfed him til he was five?

Shit, that explains a helluva lot of things…

Anway…I really should go red again, because the blonde is becoming me. I did this really reatar-retarded thing this morning.

I woke up like normal…and I got out of bed, showered, and everything. Anyway, I get outside to my car, and I catch my reflection in the window and I have this freakin' huge milk mustache and I made myself jump. When did I start drinking milk?

Gosh…I'm drunk and retarded. Great.

Trevor is actually snoring. Now when I look at him, I don't see a man…I see thr five year old inside…screaming out to be weaned.

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**Thursday, February 8**

_Why Do I Even Try?_

Chester…I guess that's a cute name. Chester Lake.

He's actually kinda cute.

He looks like the outdoor type.

Fin looked like he wanted to beat the crap out of him when he offered to buy me dinner if I bootstrapped some warrants for them…they don't need to protect me. I'm a grown woman, capable of making my own decisions…however misguided they can be concerning my love life at times.

Munch, Fin, Cragen and Elliot act like my brothers. They are so protective over me and Liv. Olivia is like forty, so I don't think they worry about her as much as they worry about me. But they still like to keep tabs like we're teenaged girls. I really don't want to relive those years.

But really, the only people I hang out with are cops and lawyers.

Even though Lake is really cute and all, I need a little variety. In my adult life at least. When I was a teenager, I dated a few guys that weren't exactly princes, but good enough…now that I'm an adult, I should have more choices than just cops and lawyers…I don't want the conversations to always be like "Hey, who'd you put in jail today honey?" and "Hi babe, I ran down a couple of psycho bank robbers" or whatever. I want a guy that I can talk about other things with like the environment, food, traveling, sports. I love all that stuff. I love dressing like a tomboy and pulling my hair back into a ponytail and just lazing around.

I like watching guys watch sports. I like it when they ignore people and surroundings. I think it is just…cute. I don't get mad because that's what guys are supposed to do, you know?

Wow, I am very tired.

I went to work with a hangover and now I just want to sleep for the next couple of days.

Trevor asked me what he said to me, and I told him nothing. Tee hee! I think the whole breastfeeding until five thing is something I should hold onto for later…blackmail.

Hey, I haven't seen Phil in a while…

I hope he's okay.

Or maybe he's…gasp

CHEATING.

He's getting scraps from another woman…or man.

Phil might be cheating on me! After everthing I've done for that silly rodent! I even bought a whole block of cheddar.

Why, Phil! WHY!

But seriously, he's got to stop chewing holes in the wall. Now there's a hole in the back of my closet and I really hope that he doesn't start bringing in roommates…can't afford to give him and his whole family crumbs and high quality cheese.

Maybe I should free him. You know, put him in Central Park that way he can run free and not have to worry about chewing through walls, floors. And the like. No more apartment dwelling for you, Phil.

It makes me think though…maybe I should think about getting a house…or at least a bigger place. But it's only me…that would be a total waste of space and energy. And plus, when I think about decorating, I just become ill. I've had this little one room apartment for years. It's home. I like it. It's nice and cozy.

I might be here a while.

Come back to me Phil!

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**Friday, February 9**

_May 20, 1992_

_May 20, 1992_

_This is totally NOT how I envisioned spending my summer vacation before senior year. Daddy wanted me to work this summer and start saving up for college, but I had other things in mind. Like going to Florida for three weeks with Grandmother! She is so cool, and I really need a change of scenery. _

_I could be in Florida right now. But no._

_I'm stuck in this damn outfit working at the damn Piggly Wiggly. _

_One perk: my manager is really hot, but he's really married…he's like twenty three years old and on the fast track, whatever that it. I think he kind of likes me…maybe. I know he has boundaries and everything, but he is still so cute._

_I'm glad that he saw my potential and moved me from stocking shelves to register. Casey Novak: Cashier. This sucks sometimes because I am in the express lane…you know for like tampons or a six pack or whatever…some people make it hard on me because they bring like two full baskets of food and…it holds up my line then Opal yells at me when I ask her for help when the register overloads. The customers act all stuck up and whatnot when I mess up…_

_There are so many other things I could be doing with my time!_

_But Gardner (the manager's name) keeps me going and I just smile and nod and admire from a neutral, far distance._

_Daddy gets to use my discount, by my brothers use it all the time for stupid crap. They are such LOSERS! Well, at least I get the marginally better job. They have to work with daddy all summer at his law firm. Things are a little better since the EB went back to her gator infested Everglades. Although she was pretty bearable as I got older. She said that I grew up nice. And she just loved when I finally took speech classes and bought some makeup._

_I do feel prettier and I speak much better._

_But I don't want to get wrinkles at a young age working at the Piggly Wiggly!_

_Opal seriously needs to get a life…and a facial._

_She's like thirty and totally depressed about everything. _

_When I'm on my lunch break, she just goes into the ladies' bathroom and she doesn't come out until lunch is done. It's one of those restrooms where it has two stalls and she locks it so you have to go somewhere else. I want to talk to her and see why she's so sad and bitchy all the time._

_Anyway…Gardner says I'm doing a good job, even though technically, this Piggly Wiggly isn't the busiest one there is. I get a lot of reading done, and of course I have time to write in my diary…People think that I'm really weird for writing my personal thoughts in public, but I don't care…as long as Opal doesn't see. They don't like lean over me and read it…_

_One more year and I'll be out of this place in Boston having the time of my life. _

_I hope I'll make a good lawyer. I don't want to be one of those probono people. Or one of those legal aid people. I want to like go to trial against big CEOs and mass murderers and stuff like that. No back rent or "Oh I broke my leg at the store and I'm suing". I want the big stuff._

_I better go. Opal's yelling at everyone to get off their asses and get back on register. _

_Gardner is just rolling his eyes._

Posted by: superstar30 4:00 EDT Everlink 6 Comments Submit Report Of This Post


	9. March 26 Thru 31 2007

Casey on the Case AKA ADA Superstar

**Archives**:

--September 2006

--October 2006

--November 2006

--December 2006

-- January 2007

-- February 2007

--March 2007

--------- Oh The Irony

--------- Trouble

--------- My Completely Casual Non-Date Date With Chester

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**Monday, March 26**

_Oh The Irony_

There's something about being sued for ten million dollars that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Elliot and I got sued for ten mil each, and it sucked, as you might have guessed. So I've been real tied up as you can imagine.

I'm a practicing attorney…I get paid to try the defendant…little did I know that _I'd _BE the defendant. Man that sucks.

So yeah, I'm glad that's over.

I wonder what Liv wanted with that kinship thing…Hm.

MAJOR LEAGUE BUMMER: because I was so tied up in that lawsuit, I freakin' missed out on the greatest celebration ever!

ST. PATRICK'S DAY!

Really, it's not that serious, but it's the perfect excuse for Irish people to get drunk. Well, we never need an excuse, but at least we can call it something. El was certainly pissed off. But we went to St. Martin's together for mass, just to ease the hurt. Sniff.

Melinda and I went out for dinner and I need to stop eating.

Melinda is skinny as a reed and I am SO freakin' jealous…she eats just as much as I do and I don't think she ever gain's weight…I eat like a damn pig and I gain three pounds.

I am jealous of both Liv and Mel…Mel's got a great flat stomach and Liv's got big chi-chis, both of which I am deprived of.

No wonder Elliot stares at Liv so much…he is newly divorced…If I were a guy sitting across from Olivia and practically having her ho-hos in my face everyday the way she sits and leans over her paperwork, I think I'd stare too.

Yeah, they think I don't notice, but I do. They are so sickening sometimes.

Posted by: Superstar30 11:05 EDT Everlink 4 Comments Submit Report Of This Post

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**Wednesday, March 28**

_Trouble_

Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen Olivia so unraveled before.

We met at this new bakery (totally the wrong place I need to be) and she was all tears.

I had no freakin' idea Liv had a little brother.

Worse yet, she thinks he's a rapist, which doesn't really help her in the self-esteem department.

Then she tells me about all this whole thing about Cragen wanting to split her and El up and talking to Dr. Hendrix…it's just a whole big mess of trouble. But I mean, Liv usually handles stress well, but lately, she's just been acting really weird.

She is usually the one to hold it together, but…lately she's been on edge.

Maybe it's hormones…she _is_ almost forty…maybe it's…whispers discreetly _menopause_.

Maybe she's having some kind of midlife breakdown. I mean, the men she dates are assholes, she can't commit to save her life, and she has no kids…that can take a toll on a woman.

I want to have kids. I want to get married…whichever comes first, I want.

I went on WedMD and looked up symptoms of menopause. Olivia is always short with people, so scratch that.

_Have you, or another woman you know ever had hot flashes?_

I don't know if Olivia's had a hot flash…Hmmm…I sure as hell don't want to ask her. And I'm pretty sure Elliot wouldn't know either…I can just see his face if I asked…it would be great for me, embarrassing for him.

Hmm, this might explain why Olivia's girls are almost popping out. It said that the amount of hormones can cause swelling of the breasts and other extremities.

So, just for your information (if you really care to know) some symptoms of menopause are:

1) Soreness and swelling of the breasts and other extremities

2) Joint pain

3) Irritability

4) Hot flashes

5) Migraines/headaches

6) Night sweats

7) Memory Loss

8) Emotional Distress

9) Irregular or heavy periods

Damn. So not looking forward to turning forty. Yikes! I better get a move on!

Posted by: Superstar30 12:08 PM EDT Everlink 10 Comments Submit Report Of This Post

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**Saturday, March 31**

_My Completely Casual Non-Date Date With Chester_

I swear, that's what it was!

He is so cute, and he is the outdoor type! I knew it.

Problem: he says he doesn't sleep well.

Hmm…maybe I can help that…wink-wink

One thing we Novak women know how to do is have great sex and make lots of babies (hello, the hips). I have like fifty first cousins alone, so sex and fertility is SO not an issue.

Whoa, okay, I'm getting ahead of myself!

Anyways, he took me to Bolo in Times Square, 'cause I told him that I'm not cheap date, and it was great. I seriously need to stop eating though.

I could barely fit my dress (which was totally casual, nothing sexy…it was something I would wear to mass, I promise!)

Chester looked at me like I _wasn't_ in my good girl mass wear. Man, he's got it bad, but should that be my problem? No, he's so cute, and he's totally modest. He kept asking me questions about me! He's interested in my life! He's kind of shy which is cute, and he loves sports…soccer in particular.

It went so well…could I be dreaming?

But it totally wasn't a date.

Posted by: Superstar30 2:07 AM EDT Everlink 3Comments Submit Report Of This Post


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